Why I Oppose FV
A theological tempest is brewing in the Presbyterian teapot. Various New Perspecti on Paul (NPP) are gaining traction, not least of which is the Federal Vision (FV) which claims, I think, not to be the same as NPP but those outside the FV and NPP say it is…I think. (It really all depends on which side of the subtly nuanced shading of the shadow of the reflection of the image you happen to be standing in…or on…or near(?).)
At any rate, I write to express my stern and fervent opposition to NPP and FV. It really has nothing at all to do with the theological positions of NPP and FV (to be both Frank and Ernest, I’m not sure I get it all). It has more to do with the default initials by which they are referred. To say, “NPP” is, in my ever-so-slightly-more-than-sophomoric mind just sounds naughty…or hip hop. “Yeah, you know me. I’m down with NPP.”
FV, on the other hand, has a slightly more literate reason for offending. It just isn’t poetic. It doesn’t flow effortlessly from the lips. In order to say it correctly, one must pause (as briefly as one can) between the F and the V. This is simply too cumbersome in the flow of conversation. If you say it with any sort of flow, it doesn’t sound like much more than FE. Or EVEE. If you’re going to come up with a new theological system, and you want it to gain purchase in the vernacular of the common man, you’re going to have to make it simple and easy to say.
Take PCA for instance. Simple, slides easily past the teeth. Even OPC sounds almost automatically familiar and friendly (cranky elements within said denomination notwithstanding). Heck, even SBC has something going for it…although people really have a hard time writing “an SBC church.” Because it begins with S, people want to put “a” in front of it…which of course sounds totally wrong when spoken.
And of course there are others that don’t work. PCUSA (too many letters), AofG (speaks for itself, I think), UMC (reminds me of the Marine Corps) and others.
I wonder if the FV guys would be willing to call it something else. This would help people like me who would be glad to entertain the ideas if only we could relate to its tag. Maybe FedViz or FeVi or FEVO. Or they could get celebrities to embrace the doctrine and brand it with their own special thang.
Britney Spears could embrace it, divorce it and then feel ambivelent toward it and call it K-Fed Vision.
Mark Driscoll could take it on and cuss about those who don’t like it and call himself a Federvisionary.
At any rate, until I can say it and sound as intelligent as Doug Wilson whilst so doing, I’m out.
To learn more of the substance of all this check out the following:
Bayly Brothers (comments get good in parts)
N T Wright (snoop around)
You’ll find enough to get you in way deeper than perhaps you’re desiring to go if you start reading and random clicking on these sites.
Maybe Federal (re)Visioning? (just trying to help)
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Al on Radical Corruption
You remind me of the Irishman in the movie ‘Braveheart’.
This is hilarious. Thanks for the laugh.
OPC sounds much more “hip-hop” than NPP, at least as far as the song you’re emulating is concerned; the “N” just throws the whole rhythm off. If you actually say “Federal Vision” it comes out quite nicely. Maybe if we weren’t so theologically, er, I mean linguistically lazy we would be more accepting of it? Of cousre, there’s always the alternative AAT but that makes it seem like a recovery program which, ironically, fits pretty well. Cheers!
Jared, I agree that “OPC” does sound more street, but I could not bring myself to relate. Too much like putting John Boy Walton in the same category with Snoop Diggity Dog. Frankly, no one would buy such nonsense.
Very funny ir… do you mind if I call you ir? I am much more comfortable with one syllable names.
al sends
Al,
Clearly there is a “call me Betty” reference available here, but I’ll let it go…mostly because I don’t want to be called Betty. You can feel free to call me ir…sounds like Ur, which is where father Abraham was from. It also sounds like the sound I make when I put my foot in my mouth and I’m trying to regain something that resembeles composure (i.e., “er”). Which is also the sound that last frog made when hawking Bud on the old TV commercials.
Wow, I think this is a nickname that I’m going to like. It is loaded with potential! And all from one syllable, words of which you are so fond.
I should probably stop now.
Wait a minute!! It sounds like EAR…No! You may NOT call me that. Who wants to be called EAR?!
It only sounds like ear if you put the second ‘r’ in the mix… Oh, and all good nicknames are assigned not picked. You may not have as much choice as I led you to believe…
al sends
Does that mean I can’t have T-Bone? or Spike? or Carl?